Thursday, 25 December 2008

The indignity of it all.

Well Benjamin, SHE has really upset me today. Where were you O dear Master to rescue this perisher? HE was on HER side. The others were all on HER side. YOU would have stood up and spoken, other HE would have stood up and spoken, even Win would have stood up and spoken, but not THEM. Look at what SHE did, commiserate with me, write about me on your Facetome wall and get your friends to agree with me -SHE was out of order. See what I mean...

Sunday, 7 December 2008


Dear Samson, I thought of you and have sent you a picture of another famous cat. WE have just spent a few days in London, and visited some places we have not seen before. We saw this statue of Hodge when we went to Dr Johnson's house. WE hope you are enjoying your stay at the cattery and have plenty to occupy your waking hours. WE are having an interesting and refreshing break. I loved the visit to the Saatchi Gallery, where all the art work was from China. The 'floating children ' are a take on the ceilings of a Christian basilica like St Pauls. HE enjoyed the Guildhall Art Gallery, and thinks HIS SISTER IN LAW HER would enjoy the Pre-raphaelite paintings and the Roman Ampitheatre excavations. WE both used our over 60's bus passes to advantage. We have ridden to Tottenham and Lewisham and all places in the City of London. The loos in Tescos in Tottenham were disgusting, and by far the best ones were in the Guildhall A G . WE went to Handel's 'Messiah' in St Pauls Cathedral. The tickets were free as announced on their website, but the programme suggested a voluntary donation of £10.
The picture of beige buildings was an exhibit in the Saatchi made entirely of dog chews.
The church here is 'St Lawrence , Jewry'. It was beautifully maintained and all the woodwork polished to perfection. But I hold this against you as ST John of Patmos would say'you have deserted your first love'. No one walking off the street and in search of a Saviour would find any mention of Him.

WE are missing you and look forward to seeing you on Wednesday.

Saturday, 22 November 2008

I have done the things I ought not to have done..

I am in disgrace again. I have been into Upper Story again. All those waiting around tactics, looking nonchalent , bored even seem to have had the desired effect. Except it has gone disasterously wrong. SHE left the white door open this morning. SHE always forgets something when SHE goes out. Sometimes it is her glasses, sometimes her lipstick, sometimes its her correct footware. Mostly something like the aforementioned, something totally unimportant and trivial. Today however SHE got it just right , or should that be wrong. SHE forgot her Vanishing Cream. In her supreme effort to protect her skin from the harsh cold wind, the snow flakes and the ravages of time she was lax, and forgot to shut the white door.
I made a move, silent , surreptitious and stealthy. Where did I go what did I find , how far did I get? Not far I'm afraid , just to that room with all those books. HE found me within minutes as he went to put on a third vest . I now have a taste for adventure. I am waiting around, looking nonchalent, bored even.....

Tuesday, 4 November 2008


I am going to the pictures now. Well you know what I mean, there is a correct term for what I mean, cinema or moving pictures, you may choose. I have heard that some of the old ones are the best. So here I am. I have been watching this film for ages, I tried to join in with it but it would not let me in. I am under 18 of course, and THEY are a law abiding household.

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Little Hims

I like this little HIM.

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Cloth of Gold

THEY are not amused with the hair on the sofa. THEY wont let me sit where I want to. It is an infringement of my feline rights. I am going to write to my MP. I should be able to go where I like, freedom of movement it is called. I do so much for THEM after all. I am decorative, give hours of conversation starters, cheap to feed, do all my own washing, and grace their evenings with my presence. And what do THEY do? They run off and get a sticky roller , move me out of the way, and roll the sofa. Honestly is is worse than those afternoon adverts HE sees everyday for Bobble Gone. I do quite like the cloth of Gold THEY have found for me to lounge on .

Sunday, 28 September 2008


Once upon a time in the North of England there lived a gorgeous Norwegian Blue /Persian cat called Samson. There was nothing he was unable to do , sleep, sleep, watch bird feeders, sleep, and prowl. He lived in a huge house in the wilds. He had trees, bushes, three ponds , gravel walks, compost heaps, compost bins, seed beds, a greenhouse and lots of undergrowth to amuse him in his waking moments.
When September came and the garden was covered every morning with delicate webs of arachnids and nasturtiums shone with their sheer orangeness Samson started to venture into places new for long hours.
'Where is he?' could be heard in all corners of the estate.
'Do you think he has gone off for another adventure?' THEY said to one another.
They looked in the trees, they looked in the bushes, they looked in the three ponds, the gravel walks and the compost heaps, bins and seed beds. The greenhouse and the undergrowth were scanned , and then he was found. He was frog watching, sitting still and waiting for them to go hunting among the bushes, ponds , compost heaps and undergrowth. The frogs had lived in this garden for many generations. No one was going to catch them.

Sunday, 21 September 2008

SHE said 'How dare he!'

I am in the cat house. I discovered that I need vantage places in the grounds of this establishment. This is a good one as I don't get mud on my pads. I watch the Avian feeding stations from here. I have now got several watchtowers, including all the garden chairs, the top of the compost bin, the raised borders and of course this bonnet. THEY cannot reprimand me during their sleep time however. Sometimes I think they forget I have something of the night about me. THEY have no idea of the places I have found for sitting around and watching, and watching .

Saturday, 20 September 2008


I am having an Indian Summer.

Monday, 15 September 2008

Samson celebrates

I did really well, my present for HIS birthday was really appreciated. I know these things you see. Some people are so worried about running out of basic necessities that they make discreet stockpiles of them in their domiciles. SHE can be such a pain, hiding them in the cupboard under the stairs,removing them from beside the bath, and making HIM wind up all the ends on to one roll but I sympathise. HE loves me best, my present was HIS best I can tell.

Friday, 5 September 2008

The perfect spot

We had a game this week. SHE put a strange substance in my food and thought I would not notice. What sort of feline does she think I am? I refused to eat it for two days and just toyed with the bowl. I think SHE put the bowl in the white cold box by the door and got out another but identical green bowl or some such ploy. I heard HIM saying to HER it was like the kipper going out every day in some film. We played this game for ages, and eventually I heard HER say I had eaten it all , so SHE must have won. What are wurms , I dont think I know? Perhaps you will let me know Benjamin, so that I have a correct grasp of the situation and not just a worry that SHE is up to no good.

Have been lying around the place a bit this week, all the mind games have done me in.

Thursday, 28 August 2008


I knew she knew. I knew SHE would sense something when she realised the outside security light was going on and off , on and off for a while. SHE always gets up if that happens too often. Once SHE got up and found it was frog, another time a plant blowing in a pot by the wheely bin. Whatever, she got up. I decided to do my poor cat wanting some food routine at the bottom of the stairs. Tuna gourmet pouch, it certainly worked. SHE cried. I am playing it for as long as I can. HE is up and waiting for me to sit on his knee whilst he watches the first screening of Neighbours.

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Where am I ?

I got home , I checked my bounderies,
I made contact with all my friends,
black and white (Lucy), ginger, and small black and white,
I ate all that was put in front of me. Now I am lost.

Thursday, 7 August 2008

Samson is away

All of us in the Forth Estate need a break, so I am away. See you all in two weeks.

Monday, 4 August 2008

Here be dragons

I have widened knowledge of the known world, and even found many new places to sojourn , or even lay my head. I am no longer a stranger and alien but a son, maybe even an heir.

Firstly the heat has led me to places cool. Under the Echiums( beloved of my surrogate master) is a tempting and available space but the little HES have found me out.

It was a quiet and interesting spot, with plenty to occupy my keen observational skills and wont to patience, but I have been sprung.

My next place , and here I have spent several fruitful nights watching the stars and repelling boarders, is as you can see from the illustration, on the maroon contraption thing . I overheard HIM saying that it would be going at the weekend when best friend HER goes back to Dorking , a place I understand is beneath the great divide. It has been a very successful place to use, and I see that Latecatrooms rates it very highly. It is dry, elevated , beautifully decorated , and with housekeeping of the highest standard, only a catflap away from my usual breakfast spot.

BUT I am trying out a new place very near to it. I wonder what you think BEN, is it me?

My Secret Spot where I surf for birds is under the Woolworths Tree, (Winfieldus Lynnii) and it is a joy . Here be starlings.

Friday, 25 July 2008


I have started going further afield. You see, you have been my inspiration , going to Wales and exploring coal mines and mountains, valleys and all things Celtic. I too have been exploring. I have been to greenhouse via the sweet peas, and climbed to my usual seat on the old dressing table stool. Just to show you that I am truly versatile I can now get in through the window. I have climbed the highest mountain in the vicinity, is is called Compost Bin and is 20.3m above sea level. I believe if I reach the summit of another one it is called McCavity Bagging, I think Bin Bagging is a better name.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

My Trip

I have decided to take a trip in my Camper van.
I have spent all night getting it ready, supplied
with all those delicious treats a cat like me must have,
so I hope I can manage to open the gourmet pouches
all by myself , as SHE usually does it for me,
although just recently I have been having that dull
dried stuff.
The van was quite clean although it smelled a little of CHILD.
I am being quite sensible, have phoned the AA for a route,
and decided I might like a trip to somewhere with culture
so I have decided on Bath, as that is what my friend WIN

Monday, 14 July 2008


This is just for you, my best side I think!

Thursday, 10 July 2008

Greenhouse and sibling rivalry

I have two things to mention to you today Benjamin.
Firstly I have discovered the Greenhouse. It is hidden behind a water butt and that 6d Tree bought by Mrs L from Woolworths . I like the Greenhouse, and have spent many a happy hour in there now, pretending to be asleep, but I am actually guarding the Oleander, watching the Grapes grow, and telling Whiteflies to go elsewhere. Actually SHE has stuck up some yellow rectangles with sticky sides to catch the flying pests. I hope they work for her as SHE can get quite irate when things do not go her way. I notice things you see, sit there quietly but notice things.
Secondly I think the two SHES are jealous of the way mother SHE likes me.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Private Health care

They came with me , all of them. HER, HIM, DAUGHTER HER and the CHILD. I went in the plastic box again , and got to sit on my own in the back of the car this time. THEY didn't feel they had to sit next to me and hold my paw. Short ride this time , nothing to see but brick houses and back streets. Still, I was spared the HER having to park in a small space again as she got in quite well behind the Dentists. You will now have guessed where I have been. Yes it was fine, Yes I was a good feline, Yes green uniformed SHE thought I was lovely, YES I have to go back and have my teeth done on Thursday. I do not have to go to the Dentist, green uniformed SHE will do it. I think GUS as I'll now call her is rather young , but she knew what she was doing. I chose to be well behaved, it was a wise choice. I will get good treatment, I am worth it I know.

Sunday, 29 June 2008

Taking Over

I am doing it gradually, surrepticiously so to speak, moving in and taking over. I know this will upset you dear Benjamin but I actually like it here. There are more chairs, more cushions, more seagulls and more wildlife to watch .

Friday, 27 June 2008

Expedition to the unknown region

I am out in the big northern wilderness at last.

Thursday, 26 June 2008


This was me this morning before I realised what was happening. SHE put that big plastic thing in the silver room and I could smell she had put that canned spray stuff inside it. Then HE shut the door to my bird watching room. I nosed around trying to see what else was different, and then I realised SHE was being sweet and kind and HE was looking at his watch the whole time and talking to HER about how long something was going to take , and traffic and hold ups and parking and those sorts of things. THEY got me inside that plastic thing by stealth. I was inside it before you could say CAR, and CAR it certainly was next. I started to cry a bit as we moved off from the new home just to see what HE would do. She had made him sit on the seat next to me for the whole trip. I was trying to think where we might be going, cat doctor or another new home or to look at the sea. I was wrong on all counts. We went to this really lovely and interesting place. A wonderful SHE with kind eyes and gentle voice pampered me, clipped me and bathed me .Two hours just sped by. I did not miss THEM at all. I had so much to look at, listen to and smell. When THEY returned , I could tell they were pleased . I was so good all the way home, I did not even think I could be going anywhere else but new home. They are doing a good job DAD, you have given them good advice obviously.

Friday, 20 June 2008

The catflap

Here are a few pictures for you

I am more myself now. I have not hidden much today. I have been watching the birds from several vantage points. SHE won't let me up on the table to watch, and I have been banned from the downstairs cloakroom as THEY don't want me in there when THEY are in. I have been sitting on those blue leatherette bucket chairs in the dining room where I have an excellent view of the bird feeder on the back fence. Best of all I like to watch from the catflap window at the main BIRD Feeding Station. Have had good sightings today, Bluetits, Goldfinches(including a juvenile), sparrows, lots of Blackbirds(1 Juvenile),scores of Starlings and pigeons (3 kinds). They only have 7 days left before I am let out on an unsuspecting present haven .I miss you and our Lewes adventure playground but think I am going to like this feline forage ground. Love to you and other HIM from your boy by the sea.