Monday 31 January 2011

Ophelia

Dear Aunty HER

This is to tell you that I am thinking about you today. I am very sorry to hear of the death of my cousin Ophelia ( Phee) .
SHE tells me that you have buried her in your lovely garden. Next time you come to Kiaora I am going to help you to dig up some snowdrops, in the green , to plant above her.

with love from Samson

Sunday 30 January 2011

Regression


I am worried about HER. SHE is acting in a strange and yes I will say it a worldly manner. SHE has made HIM buy a Sunday Paper just to get a CD of the caterwauling I am being subjected to  this morning. SHE will be more than lonesome tonight if this carries on. I will not climb up on HER knee and purr. I will not look elegant on the hearth rug. I will make a mess with that white gravel stuff , and make sure it goes all up the hall. 

That is not all . She has  changed the profile picture of the FileyParish  Twitter page to indulge more of HER regressive and nostalgic tendancies.
SHE needs to get a life , I say.

Monday 24 January 2011

I am being followed by a cottage

Well not just any cottage, but one of the nicest cottages in Queen Street, Flora Dora Cottage. I love the name , and I like the cottage.  It is where Michael Portillo oka Bradshaw stayed when he graced us with his presence. He saw me through the gate I think , and thought I  was lovely.

Not exactly FOLLOWED , let the reader understand , literally . It would look very silly trying to follow me around the grounds of my home. No , followed on Twitter.  I suppose its really as daft as a Norwegian Blue/Persian Cross being on Twitter, but I have an amanuensis called HER.

I am also followed by HER favourite journalist called Ruth Gledhill, who has Princess Natasha  , who I follow.

Thursday 13 January 2011

Used to be 6, then 5 now its 4 o'clock

I am trying to improve my living conditions.
When I came to live in this outpost on the North Coast SHE allowed me one pouch of meat or fish in jelly a day, and the rest of the day I had to eat that stuff the vet says is good for me-Cat Crunch. Then came the cheap cooked chickens SHE got from Mills Metro  to boil up the carcass for stock. SHE used to give me tasty scraps sometimes.  I used this to my advantage, purred at HER, and by subtle means and sheer devious patronage managed to be very grateful for more and more until she forgot that it had started out as giving me LEFTOVER CHICKEN SCRAPS.  She then bought cheap cooked chickens just for me, when they were REDUCED in the new supermarket-Tescos of Filey. She still made the stock , chicken sandwiches for HIM , little HIMS, HER and all those hangers on in this house. I got delicious morsels every day. Then austerity took over after Christmas, or Winterval as I call it. SHE has put me back on Cat Crunch  for my health she says. 
OLD GRANDMA SHE helped me out by donating all the meat from HER Chicken Carcass bought for soup. It has kept me going for 2 weeks until last night . 
Now 6 o'clock was my supper time. I have managed to reduce the time down to 4 o'clock by being vocal. I don't purr.  I go right up to HER and whine, and whine and whine.
It has worked at last, today I got my chicken supper at 4 o'clock.Except it was CAT CRUNCH and will be for ever more I heard HER say.

Sunday 2 January 2011

Last year , this year

Raspberry me
I promised you my review of last year

  • It was over quickly
  • I now know what a Thrush looks like
  • The Little HIMS are my friends, even if they do eat red representations of me
  • Cayton Carr is still my favourite Holiday Destination
  • I do not use Twitter to my advantage 
  • Our Darkling Thrush 
  • I dont mind snow or ice as long as I dont have to go out in in it
    Playing with my Christmas gifts


    Happy New year  Dear Readers