Sunday, 27 December 2009

Not what it seems

Tell me what you see Ben!
Blinds in the window of a house. Five miniature cyclamen plants in a trough in front of window in front of house. Glimpse of green louvred window shutters in front of house. Cream cat sitting lying in window of house ,in front of neat venetian blinds, parallel with trough of tastefully planted cyclamen plants on window ledge of Early Victorian cottage, with green shutters,  in a North Laine in Brighton.
No! It is a dead stuffed cat.

Sunday, 6 December 2009

Too many Style Magazines

I have been sitting around looking attractive for over 13 years.  I dont know exactly  for how  many Feline years I  have stalked the earth going this way and that. My Paperwork is only for those people whose name begins with v ... and of course my lovely lady at Harfields.
When I first chose to stay with HIM and HER in this coastal town somewhere on the East Coast, you dear master gave THEM instructions for keeping my fur well groomed. So I am writing to give you my archdeacons inspection  of a report on my maintenance.

For the first six months of my domicile SHE tried to brush me with that lethal weapon you called a brush.  SHE said it was more like a carding comb   in the cloth making process, so vicious was it upon my poor but lovely fur. SHE struggled on until this summer.  Sometimes I let HER brush my back for all of 2 minutes, but I didnt like it.  SHE wore yellow gloves always, and I would saunter up to HER when I saw her put them on.  SHE had to hold my collar to keep me in brushing distance.

There has been a change. SHE has bought a new brush.  OH, the difference! Not only do I bound up to HER now when I see the yellow gloves but I positively look forward to it.  Now as I am being made tangle -free and attractive  I roll over for her so that SHE can do my tummy , and I let her brush me for as long as SHE wants. I purr, I look at HER with those 'food please eyes'.  I meet HER gaze and let HER know that I am perfectly satisfied with HER standard of care.  I do not need GOK whatever his name is.  I do not need to be spoken to in simpering tones(SHE doesnt do simpering). I am gorgeous,  I'm  just too cosy to get up from the chair and show you.