Sunday, 28 August 2011

My Bank Holiday , and the talk of Geriatrica

Rather a daft name for a Monday off I think. I don't have to do my banking on a Monday anyway, and I certainly dont need a holiday from it. I cant reach the ATM anyway, and have to depend on the care of Significant Others for supplying my needs. 

The upside of this day off with no physical  Bank Openings is that the City of London shuts up for the weekend and so you Dear Master don't have to go to work . I am SO GLAD then that you have come to Filey so see me, spend some time with me, admiring me , talking to me, and discussing my age.  You have worked  out my age . I am 16 Human years Old.

I am all there and half way  back , THEY will tell you. I am still in possession of all my cat faculties, I sleep well, eat well , can get around without the use of a carry, can spot a bird at 20metres, and smell chicken scraps coming out of the fridge even when I am at the bottom of the garden. You don't need to have those indelicate talks about me. 

Friday, 19 August 2011

My admirer , the Editor

Now that the News of the World has gone the way of all flesh and paper, I am about to rise as New star . 
Are they cats? Do they know u can see their roots?
SHE goes to the end of Queen Street and sits for hours at night looking out across the bay just incase SHE can see the Northern Lights or the Perseid Showers. I am not that kind of phenomenal New star, but more the Jedward Kind, without the silly hair of course and  brother, BIG or otherwise. No I am hoping that my NEW ADMIRER , who has featured this blog in a monthly periodical as Blog Of the Month, will make me into a CELEB type star, of the A catlist sort.

So I am going to have a makeover I think, have my whiskers trimmed, get brushed, and practice my Purr. I have already told HER that Catcrunch is just not good enough for my evening repast. I deserve something more gourmet. My sleeping places will have to be changed too. Its not enough to be shut in the kitchen at night and told to be a good boy. 

Really I should have a Gold Lame fringe on my rug, and it should be embroidered with precious gems. Celebs in the making need a publicist too. SHE wont do , SHE is not of the world just in it. I need someone who will get me on the One Show, and Hello Magazine, now that I am in the Envoy. I bet my admirer/Editor  sees a great rise in the Circulation as all the Filey felines make their carers read about me. Do you suppose I will be asked to carry the Olympic Torch from Filey to Reighton, I could manage that, with the help of some strategic  harness in place. Maybe I will be asked to open the new Development next Door on the site of the Old Crown.

Get your online Copy of the ENVOY here-I am in the September Edition. Paper copies, OKA the real thing are in Filey Library, and St Johns , St Thomas and St Oswalds churches -BY THE DOOR and by subscription.

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Did u think I had Gone?

Well I've been back at Kiaora now for 3 whole lovely days after my sojourn at Cayton Carr again. I was a pleasure for them all there  no doubt. I came home looking very brushed and happy. I have stopped whining for food every hour on the hour as it is just not working now I am back with HER (who thinks she should be obeyed). 
That ginger and white excuse for a cat has been trying to poach and encroach whilst I have been away. I know that, as the area around the back door and MY cat flap smells of that expensive Industrial Super Strength stain  and odour remover.

Yesterday we had a DRAMA here.
HE caught a stray mammal and put it in my Cat Box. SHE thought it was a baby mink, but the lovely  pink vet said it was a Ferret. Really SHE should have known that , growing up in the wilds of East Yorkshire. The Drama is over now -so if its yours you know where to go for it.