Strangely Warmed

I have spent my 40 days and 40 nights acknowledging and bewailing my manifold sins and wickednesses.  Actually that is not exactly true. For all the 40 days I have mostly been sleeping

• On the blue chair in the dining room-allowed
• On the Dralon blue chair in the sitting room-never allowed, always a fuss made
• On the desk chair ,on brown furry rug (provided)
• On the kitchen Windsor chair-allowed after 10pm only 
• On the sofa -only when cover in place
• On the carpet near radiator in sitting room -always allowed when door is open
• On the kitchen mat with view through Catflap of Birdfeeder-allowed 

For all the 40 nights THEY will  never  know what I have been doing or where I have been.

 During Lent it seems that I have been expected to read some wholesome literature. SHE has done it for me, and I looked over her shoulder. We enjoyed Strangely Warmed. SHE says it was a breath of fresh air after all the stuffy books she has read in other years.

I have of course been reading the Filey Parish Blog every day with THEM. Even HE is getting proficient at blogging now. The one HE did yesterday was all HIS own work except for the uploading of the Photos.(whatever that means).

I of course have been proficient for a long time. I haven't actually had to do a Lent Blog as I am not a a parishioner . Although I am a vicarious  parishioner - not a Church Cat, I still have not had a go at Spiritual Stuff since my award winning and much blog rolled Monasticism and Feline Devotions.  I exaggerate of course. However I realise that Spiritual Stuff will  enhance my wellbeing. As this is Holy Week I shall see what my Twitter friends are doing to improve their Spiritual Lives. I will especially take note of Anatolia Princess Natasha or known to me as @RuthiesRagdoll. Her emanuensis Ruth Gledhill always is good value on Spiritual Stuff  and this will have had a didactic effect on my Twitter friend.

So Dear Ben I will let you know about my Progress during this most special week.I was going to e mail you these pictures but I cant see why I should deny them to the world.

What must you think of me !

Sorry I've not posted  recently.I've just come back from Cayton Carr again.  I'm not going to call it that place any more because it has become a familiar friend. THEY  keep having to go away and leave me. This time it was to a rite of passage occasion.I understand from snatches of THEIR conversation that they managed to do quite a lot at the same time . Thats just THEM .

Well I'm home now. I will help them out by trying to rid THEM of the rat SHE saw on the bird feeder last week. It wont stand a chance . I am already out and about the wild_ thing that I am. 

Did you get the secret message there Ben? Ive had a look at your felt  hairbands , and although I think they are very NOW I dont actually want one.Its bad enough having to wear that yellow/green collar thing with my name and address on.I know you are talented and upbeat but please don't even think of making me one. SHE did the shops last week .  SHE knows that hair adornments are all in again, she also knows that Knitting is the new Macrame, and that everything in Accessorize is all Girly again BUT I AM NOT.I am following you on @ the_big_forest , however.

I am a Rat catcher, a king of espionage listening in to THEIR chat, a Growltiger of a cat.
More hairbands for you.

I am a history of the world in one object

I have been around for eons. My kind has always roamed and stalked, toyed with and toyed without. I am noble and nobility. I am wild and I am wilful, fierce and fragile . I know what it is like to be worshipped and yet know that I am mere cat (that is a clever joke). I have known Attenboroughs and Eliots, Daniels and Davids. I inspire all humankind and remain aloof from adoration and interaction. I depend from my own free will, and am never dependable.

But I have this against you

you have forsaken your first love, like the Ephesians

I am not one of those  hundred objects.

You have cattle. reindeer, and a bull.

I am excluded Mr Macgregor.

My trip in to the unknown

I have always been a well adjusted an well rounded feline. I do not have to read tomes by Oliver James to know this. I have managed to live a contented life amongst humans who care for, respect and nurture me, with the the result that I now can and will speak out about my  cataspirations for the next  decade.

As a child of the eighties and a teenager and young adult of the noughties I stand upon the threshold of maturity and middle age. I have all the necessary life experience , reasoning skills and appreciation of reality to be thankful that I have grown up to be so stable, balanced in outlook, and superior in wit and education compared with say the local Filey fishcats or the incomer west riding softrich cats or the asbo wealding scavenging tanked up benefit cats. I am modest.  I am healthy , I am well groomed, well read and metrocatsexual .So I am  Purrfectly qualified to write to cybercat world with my pontificat ions about life the universe and everything.

I have decided that I might as well take this catblog into this next decade. I have my Catbook facebook page, my Twitter account, my sojourns to my 5 star Cayton Catteries, my 6 bedroomed mansion with extensive pleasure grounds. I have a reasonable, mould able, persuadable, staff. I have you Ben , my dear and beloved Master, in Blackheath in the Cat estate, or is it Cator estate. I have lots of interests suitable for a mature norwegian blue /persian who is elegant, attractive, single and soporific vibrant vital.

Yes I will go on , I will continue to please you Ben,and  all your network. I am not going to be negative in thought , or when I put paw to mouse, metaphorically that is(literally would show a base nature that I have overcome in this Christian household).

Now that I have put back some order in to my routine, as the jalopeno stuffed olives and Green and Black chocolate season is over, I will be doing my exercises again and leaving clumps of fur in the hall. SHE  and HE are back to reading Times 2, the cheese has all finished, and Wallender and all Silent Witness type BBC is back to making for gentle and gory evenings.

Let me know what sort of stories you want me to regale. I am thinking of you right now, knowing you do not have a holiday until April.  I wish I could look after you , and feed you bits of salmon and hake, and snuggle up with you Ben. Even though I am now older and so mature, I will never forget our young times together, when we depended on each other . You will always be my muse.

Not what it seems

Tell me what you see Ben!

Blinds in the window of a house. Five miniature cyclamen plants in a trough in front of window in front of house. Glimpse of green louvred window shutters in front of house. Cream cat sitting lying in window of house ,in front of neat venetian blinds, parallel with trough of tastefully planted cyclamen plants on window ledge of Early Victorian cottage, with green shutters,  in a North Laine in Brighton.

No! It is a dead stuffed cat.

Too many Style Magazines

I have been sitting around looking attractive for over 13 years.  I dont know exactly  for how  many Feline years I  have stalked the earth going this way and that. My Paperwork is only for those people whose name begins with v ... and of course my lovely lady at Harfields.

When I first chose to stay with HIM and HER in this coastal town somewhere on the East Coast, you dear master gave THEM instructions for keeping my fur well groomed. So I am writing to give you my archdeacons inspection  of a report on my maintenance.

For the first six months of my domicile SHE tried to brush me with that lethal weapon you called a brush.  SHE said it was more like a carding comb   in the cloth making process, so vicious was it upon my poor but lovely fur. SHE struggled on until this summer.  Sometimes I let HER brush my back for all of 2 minutes, but I didnt like it.  SHE wore yellow gloves always, and I would saunter up to HER when I saw her put them on.  SHE had to hold my collar to keep me in brushing distance.

There has been a change. SHE has bought a new brush.  OH, the difference! Not only do I bound up to HER now when I see the yellow gloves but I positively look forward to it.  Now as I am being made tangle -free and attractive  I roll over for her so that SHE can do my tummy , and I let her brush me for as long as SHE wants. I purr, I look at HER with those 'food please eyes'.  I meet HER gaze and let HER know that I am perfectly satisfied with HER standard of care.  I do not need GOK whatever his name is.  I do not need to be spoken to in simpering tones(SHE doesnt do simpering). I am gorgeous,  I'm  just too cosy to get up from the chair and show you.

Turning my back on Eastenders