Too many Style Magazines

I have been sitting around looking attractive for over 13 years.  I dont know exactly  for how  many Feline years I  have stalked the earth going this way and that. My Paperwork is only for those people whose name begins with v ... and of course my lovely lady at Harfields.

When I first chose to stay with HIM and HER in this coastal town somewhere on the East Coast, you dear master gave THEM instructions for keeping my fur well groomed. So I am writing to give you my archdeacons inspection  of a report on my maintenance.

For the first six months of my domicile SHE tried to brush me with that lethal weapon you called a brush.  SHE said it was more like a carding comb   in the cloth making process, so vicious was it upon my poor but lovely fur. SHE struggled on until this summer.  Sometimes I let HER brush my back for all of 2 minutes, but I didnt like it.  SHE wore yellow gloves always, and I would saunter up to HER when I saw her put them on.  SHE had to hold my collar to keep me in brushing distance.

There has been a change. SHE has bought a new brush.  OH, the difference! Not only do I bound up to HER now when I see the yellow gloves but I positively look forward to it.  Now as I am being made tangle -free and attractive  I roll over for her so that SHE can do my tummy , and I let her brush me for as long as SHE wants. I purr, I look at HER with those 'food please eyes'.  I meet HER gaze and let HER know that I am perfectly satisfied with HER standard of care.  I do not need GOK whatever his name is.  I do not need to be spoken to in simpering tones(SHE doesnt do simpering). I am gorgeous,  I'm  just too cosy to get up from the chair and show you.