Ive been to GIMP and back

Waiting for housegroup

I am waiting for THEM to arrive. There is a group here tonight.It is called the Housegroup and THEY are all reading a book together called Hebrews. Mostly THEY laugh and use long words. I think it is a cover for a coffee drinkers CLUB. I can smell it already, waiting on the filter bed. SHE and HE have been to the Humber Bridge today , to the pub on Hessle Foreshore to celebrate HER sisters BIG birthday.  Little HE went as well, and was very good, so I overheard HER telling His mother. I have had a boring day.  Just nothing went on at all. The generator is silent next door at the Building site.They are having a Holiday I think. No one came , and even the birds stayed put in the big tree.

So I'm glad its housegroup and I'm sitting on the drive waiting for THEM to arrive.

Oh! Greyscale me

I have made HER go into GIMP and greyscale me. SHE has her instructions.She is to e -mail me to Stephanie Pride at the Filey Mercury before it is too late.  SHE  knows how to do attachments. I do so want to appear in our local paper before it is too late. I don't quite know which page would suit my visage best. 

The Houses for sale Pages

I know I am not a house for sale. There are plenty of those at the moment in the Mercury. When we have to use just the Scarborough Evening News, the house buying habits of the town will be revolutionised. No longer will Filey be seen as Paradise. All over this small place the potential movers will realise that there are houses to buy in Scalby, Burniston, Falsgrave and Wheatcroft. Lebberston and Gristhorpe will cease to be out of town and Cloughton will be a suburb. The Filey Gene pool will be further mixed and all will benefit.

The Small Ads

Now I certainly do not want my picture appearing on this page. I am not for sale. I am quite happy with HIM and HER.

Front Page  I would of course like to be a headline

Beautiful cat  at Kiaora wins!

followed by a 

Lead Story

It was announced today that Samson has won the prize for the best cat blogger in the UK. Filey is so honoured that he is an adopted son . 'This is even better than winning Britain in Bloom' said his servants HIM and HER, whose stunning garden has won many national prizes.

Sports

Yes! I could fit in here. My fitness regime and claw sharpening technique on the Tree are worthy of a Sports Page. I have twice run so fast that I have outwitted starlings as well as sparrows.I am not a team player though and the Mercury does like to show off the prowess of all the football teams with their interesting logos, Dixons, Smarts , Dales and the latest one Tescos -by -the -sea.

Coffee Mornings and Summer Fayres Page

SHE never goes to any of these so I dont see why I should appear on such a page.  It would seem so disloyal.

Births Marriages and Deaths

The very idea!

Letters to the Editor

Dear Stephanie Pride, 

I meant to write to you before this, and tell you how much I like your style. I wish you well in your new role or job. SHE and HE read the Times, so you might like to try there. Ruth Gledhill (HER favourite ,is behind a paywall now  with Times Online)I dont know what the world is coming to.

Yours sincerely

Samson

 

World News

I think I could be World News, after all I am Literate so maybe this would be the right page for me.I have heard of TS Elliot and Paul Gallico and have statues of my relatives in the British Museum from ancient Egypt. 

Leader

I don't know much about your editor at the Filey Mercury. He must have lost his job now or been sidelined into the SBN. His column inches would suit me best of all . So put me there and I will be a content Kiaora Cat.

RIP Filey Mercury

Dear Louise

Thank you for saying lovely things about me. I am your fan too, for as long as I can still see you ,as you are disappearing before my cat eyes these days. SHE liked your outfit yesterday, and said I would too, as I have good taste and fashion sense like my beloved master Benjamin.
I am a bit peeved that no one thought to send me a bit of cake from the party, or even a scrape of the salmon paste from the scones , or a morsel of smoked salmon. I waited for THEM to come home , and greeted THEM wildly  when the car rolled back but my needs were forgotten.
PLEASE MAY I COME AND STAY WITH YOU FOR A BIT , I WILL BE GOOD AND CAN TELL YOU WHEN THE FRIDGE DOOR IS OPEN OR I CAN SMELL SALMON.

I am a thief

Those bits of bacon Fat were for the birds. I am eagle eyed,I am quick , I am agile.

Not doing much

I managed to get on the cushions in the sitting room this afternoon. HE is watching Upstairs Downstairs. Lady Marjorie has just gone down on the Titanic. I have come in from the garden for a while. Mostly I sit around under  the Acanthus, like last year in August. This year I have not been to have my fur clipped by Lovely Lady In Scarborough. As my fur is still luxuriant I do not get cold, so I can stay out all night by the back door-well thats what THEY think. I do like to come in with HIM in the afternoon. We snooze , HE in his small corner and I in mine. HE still has to rest , as the Doctor said so . SHE has no such joy, and is to be found with watering can or potato knife, shopping trolley or  clothes pegs.