Turning my back on Eastenders

Have been doing it for years!

Planning Permission

THEY have been on the phone to solicitors , neighbours , and some of their children all week. Today they have had a visit from a neighbour they know.  He was here for over 2 hours and they had not even had their breakfast.  I digress here to say it was 10 o'clock. This afternoon they had a visit from a neighbour they have never met before.  He was here for 1 hour.

SHE is amazing .  Not only can she access the Scarborough Borough Council's planning portal, but she knows how to find all the letters from interested people in Filey who are commenting on the proposals for Affordable housing in this Conservation Area of the small town I now call home. I have been listening to the things SHE has been saying the THEM and HIM. She knows words I have never heard before, and they were not expletives . SHE has a grasp of the social history of Filey that it doesnt even know it has itself. SHE is using strange new words and phrases like 'done deal' and 'no brainer' and 'money talks'. She is looking at Old Maps and the Bible. SHE is determined that people who need a home must have one. SHE is investigating Night Shelters and Charities for the homeless. SHE has been to talks at Mothers Union.  SHE knows that many ex-service men are looking for Affordable Half way housing, as they get their lives back on track after dealing with Mental Health and Drug problems.

SHE has decided that SHE mustnt be a nimby. 
SHE needs however to stop digressing into ifs and buts and maybes and really consider my application for Affordable Housing of my OWN. I do not even have a bed I call MINE. THEY put bits of furry cloth on the seats they deem to allow me to sleep on. I am not asking for much. Many , many times I have to sit outside the back door hoping they will build me a small place of my own. I only have temporary accommodation , and only on certain days , when the Barometer is on 28 or 29.

A suitable place for a cat ?

I have only lived here for 485 days. In my reckless past I explored the neighbourhood, sniffed around, scratched a bit and took notes. Now I have widened my exploits. I am a Twitterer.  I am a Gourmet. I am an Entertainment. Best of all I procrastinate.

Shall I do lists of my Twitter interests? I am lying here in THEIR sitting room thinking about it. Here is my list of the lists

• best cyberfriends
• dogs I could relate to
• THEM and THEIR friends
• Cultural Interests for Felines
• Other cats with interesting carers

Shall I think of the food I really like and think about ?

• Caviar
• Prawns
• Steak and Kidney
•  Dolcellate and Stinking Bishop

Shall  I think of the places in the house and grounds that show me to best advantage when subliminally messaging THEM that I need praise

• On the sofa
• On the Wheelie Bin
• Lying  prone  or supine, both have had the desired effect
• Looking asleep on the mat , exactly half-way , in front of the Firescreen.
• On HIS Knee, whilst SHE has the camera.

Or shall I just think. Is the house warm?  Am I a lovely shade of gray?  Is Filey full of old people? Do we need Waitrose?  How many lives does a cat have? Do I want stay here?  Is it a suitable place for a cat?

Span sounds right for a cat

I think Cator Estate might have been made for me.  It's all in the name you see. Even Foxes Dale has an appeal. But do not worry Benjamin, I am not yearning to come back, as long as you and other HIM come and see me from time to time.  I see you have now got the means of transport for a quick getaway to the country.

Whilst THEY were away in Paris they did think of me. They brought me back a name and address of a possible friend that they spotted from the Promenade Plantee, pronounced plantay but SHE cant find the accent on the keyboard, and doesn't know how to insert symbols.

The news has filtered through

I hear that you are on holiday Ben. I hope you send me a postcard. HE was very pleased with the card you sent him last week.  He was very touched , whatever that means, as you are so far away you could not possibly have touched him literally, so I expect he meant it metaphorically.

I am getting my daily brush from HER, and my fur is beginning to grow again after my summer trim.

THEY dont seem to be doing much. HE went to Morpeth yesterday on a case, and SHE looked after the LITTLE HIM. HE is rather sweet, even though he strokes me rather a lot. I had to lash out at him yesterday, but SHE told LITTLE HIM to be careful, as SHE knows I do not like too much interference of a stroking nature except behind my ears. Dont worry, LITTLE HIM is not daft and has got the message. I am rather sick of hearing the Stick man story though.

If I hear those words again

'I'm Stickman , I'm Stickman , I'm Stickman thats me'

I shall have to get HER to try something more interesting to read to LITTLE HIM. Have you any good ideas?

I have a few

Orlando the Marmalade Cat

The Mousehole Cat

The Churchmouse

 I think LITTLE HIM is still too small for Old Possums' Book of Practical Cats, but it may be aimed at , as a target so to speak.

I will persuade HER to go to WRAYS and enlarge our Library of suitable books for my hearing. SHE must consider HER complete audience.

Keeping Going

I try to keep myself busy.  Take today for example-I ate my breakfast, although HE gave it to me a little late I thought. Then SHE came downstairs, and was really late. SHE told HIM she was reading in bed, but I think 8 o'clock far too late to be making an appearance.Usually SHE is ready for shopping by then, to avoid the crowds on the streets of this little seaside town. So , I thought I would ask HER for another breakfast. I sat at the foot of the stairs.  I got up and purred when SHE walked past.  I followed HER in to the kitchen and continued to purr.  Its working I thought.  SHE knows HE is in HIS bathroom, and as it is so late will assume HE has forgotten my breakfast.  After all HER cup of tea in bed  was late, SHE told HIM so. I thought it was working.  SHE liked the purring.  SHE liked it when I followed her to HIS bathroom door.  I continued to purr and SHE said

'Poor Samson, do you want your breakfast ?'

I purred in the affirmative, but SHE was too clever for me , and called through the bathroom door and asked if HE had fed me.  Oh, well it was worth a try.

I am playing the poor tired cat now.