Now you see what I mean

I was not making it up, I am being bullied. These felines are not my friends. Who do they think they are coming to my safe environment. They are worrying HIM and HER during the night with their caterwauling. It is not me at all. I told you at the onset. I am glad THEY have been spotted , and in broad daylight. Now you all see why I am scared to go out, and need extra facilities indoors. Two of them are new. Ginger I do not mind. They are not my gang. SHE is getting a new water pistol , whatever that is.

Fur Flying

Benjamin, SHE now knows what it means. SHE heard with her own ears, and flew downstairs to rescue me but HE got here first. It was that grey long haired feline with the yellow eyes. I tried to see him off, but was not quite quick enough. SHE sprayed some Savlon on my paws and made suitable caring type noises. I was impressed. I disappeared off for an hour. They couldn't find me and were worried. I heard her calling in that simpering concerned voice:
'Samson?'
'Samson?'
but I went to lick my wounds in my secret place and came back when I had licked the wretched Savlon off and done what cats do. SHE put a dish of my favourite food by the back door. I smelled it at once.
I am recovering now, am not limping and am playing it for all its worth.

The cold spell

Benjamin , I am in disgrace again. I am living here in the wilds of the North, where people talk in a peculiar way, wear nothing but North Face and Craghoppers and stupid hats like Sherpas,and I am expected to be one of them. It is far too cold to go out.I have been discreet but I have been found out.I now have to remain in the kitchen at night , and SHE keeps manhandling me and putting outside the back door with a simpering 'be a good boy'. How the mighty are fallen!
At least OLD SHE likes me and understands.